Jan’s Diary – GOING BACKWARDS TO PROGRESS

Sometimes we have to go back to clean up something in our past, to go forward and progress in life.

Recently, my romantic life came to an unexpected halt… AND, I felt no impetus or desire to get it going again.  I had been dating a boyfriend for about eight months and realized there just wasn’t enough energy in the relationship to make it worthwhile to continue. After I broke up, rather than being open to a new relationship I simply lost interest in the whole thing.  For me, not to be interested in romance is a first.  I had to take an honest look at what was going on on a deeper level.

What I realized was that the relationship I was in before the current one, hadn’t ended well. There were misunderstandings and hurt feelings and due to the way things ended- anger, blame and righteousness were allowed to arise… which I responded to by running away.  Every romantic liaison I’ve been in has resolved in friendship, but in this relationship it was not the case.

I knew it was not complete, that I hadn’t handled it well (as demonstrated by his reaction to the split).  I told my friends I wanted to go to counseling sessions with him to communicate with a third party present so we both could share what happened on our end and hear each other.  I had hoped through counseling could give each other an honest reflection, so we could grow, heal and both go to a higher level in our next relationships. The reality was that as long as the past wasn’t complete,  I was in no mood to go forward into my own future.

Recently, the universe brought me an opportunity to correct the past. He called about . . . . .

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